Will & Reese..

are my nephew and niece. They are Patrick's( Sean's older brother) kids. When Bill & Patrick went to Heaven, Will had just turned 1yrs old and Reese was still in her mommy's tummy. Every time I'm with them it gets harder and harder as they get older. Will is now turn 3yrs old and Reese is 20 months. It breaks my heart that Will has hardly any recollection of his dad and Reese didn't even get to meet him. No pictures...NOTHING! Patrick couldn't wait to be a Dad either. One time him and Sean were driving in the car and a father daughter song came on, and he started to get teary-eyed. If he could only see how Will is so obsessed with baseball, and cant wait to go hunting with Uncle Sean & Uncle Colin. And how adorable Reese is, I know she would have him wrapped around her tiny finger. They bring incredible joy to the entire family and everyone who meets them. I know someday their mommy will remarry and i want her to be happy again, but the thought of them calling someone else"Daddy" makes me sick. Its so hard to think about what both the kids and Patrick are missing out on. I know its out of my control and in Gods hands..

Psalms 68:5 "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation."

Xo

Jana

Rustic Romance...

Our wedding day was such an emotional day. Its amazing to me how much goes into planning an event that lasts a few hours. Don't get me wrong, I loved my wedding but was more excited about the beginning of our marriage. The weather was perfect, in the mid 60's in Steamboat Springs, Co. Our ceremony took place outside, in a hay field, with views of mountains and Aspen trees of green and gold. As a surprise to our guest, Sean and I both entered the ceremony site on horseback, separate of course.

Earlier that day, while getting ready, I was fine. I wasn't stressed, I was calm and collected. But as soon as I got on my horse, I lost it. I wasn't sobbing but it was a constant flow of tears down my face. I just kept thinking " I wish they were here. I wish they could see this. They would be so impressed." At that point I could careless about all my other guest, I just wanted Bill & Patrick there. I kept thinking about Sean didn't even have his Dad and brother by his side on his wedding day, as mine was there to walk me down the isle. And how guilty I felt for getting married when Debi & Erynn just lost their husbands. How could I be "truly happy"? It was definitely "rain on my parade". I was constantly going back and forth with feelings of missing them, feeling sorry for others, sorry for myself, and yet happy to be marrying the man God created for me. the pictures don't do the emotions justice but they do capture some of the beauty on that day. Enjoy!

xoxo

jana

Lots to catch up on..

SO much has happened since my last post and instead of trying to cram it all in this 1 post Im just going to post about significant things that occurred since my last post, starting with my wedding!!!